Closet of Memories

After a lazy day when I couldn’t get sleep,

I reached an old closet looking for something to read;

I instead sat down opening the lower drawers – dusty and stiff yet enticing

This was once a place to store all the things that meant the world;

More precious than any valuable, more personal than any secret!

A magic book with tricks, a personal book with best wishes

A signed bit of paper that talks of a bet – with silly handwriting and a far away future date

There’re also preserved letters; from pen-pals – whom I just can’t remember!

Innocent pictures with lovely smiles, dressed bright and inane

As I sat with everything opened around me,

The past and I forked - looking at each other

"I gave you happy times", said the past, "and a joyful projection of the future too

I left you hope, joy and fond memories

Yet, you look at me with remorse;

It ain’t I, who makes you sad; I rather gave you a ‘present’ – my view of your future.

Look into my eyes and make a promise,

You’ll cherish my gift and make it perfect

The present will soon be me

And I want to always be happy."

Dreams from a coffee cup..

Thick dark wood tables with random patterns of lines on top;

Lines - bearing witness to the times spent,

Memories: of Friends –meeting after a long time, of loved ones –here for a solely

chat

Relaxing in large couches, sitting like a babies

The mind becoming free, unwinding with the conversations

The high roof with long bamboos – colored ceiling: live and festive

Wooden floor makes it cozy; sound of shoes seems like tap dance

Aroma of the fresh baked cookies like small indulgence – tasteful and welcoming

Chit chats happen as sweet as the rich chocolates

Its ambiance painted on the frescos - brown and vanilla;

Like souvenirs of moments spent - happy, memorable and fond

Withal, what makes the environs welcoming and sensory, is the coffee,

Fresh beans and fresh brew, feels like being in a Java orchard

Intoxicating and alluring, all ask for their favorites.

Conversations of life, dreams and hopes - in the café

An experience worth remembering;

All offered in a coffee cup;

The one that is served here – always with delight!

1942: Angrezon Bharat Chodo…..2010: Bharatiyon Mumbai Chodo!

1942: Angrezon Bharat Chodo…..2010: Bharatiyon Mumbai Chodo!

Dear all Mr Thackreys,

I am not happy with the way Shiv Sena and MNS have been trying to show their loyalty to the state and its people – there’s no innovation!

I hence suggest some means to do it better.

(PS these ideas are a copyrighted and you better pay me for using these ;) )

1. Get inspired from history… re phrase Angrezon Bharat Chodo of 1942 to Bhartiyon Mumbai Chodo of 2010… Assuming Mumbai is a part of India.. (Am I Right Mr Thackrey?)

2. Now obviously you have some ownership of the State / Mumbai (why of course you do.. how could you be so confidently declaring that non-maharashtrians are not supposed to X, Y, Z…) Show the documents of ownership! The most basic thing to do!

3. Get a bill passed for Maharashtra / Mumbai’s citizenship: you must be the issuing authority to ensure credible, hard working and good character people to get this citizenship

4. Ensure that each and every non-maharshtrian be chucked out of the state – this ought to include

a. Doctors, nurses and other medical staff

b. Police officers and security personnel

c. People working in IT companies, Banks, Telecom companies, for that matter all companies! (no discrimination against any sector okay?)

d. Drivers, constructions workers, factory workers

e. Teachers, other educational staff

f. People running malls, restaurants, hotels

g. Etc etc

5. Levy a 1000 rs fine on people who cannot read/write/talk/understand Marathi.. it must be as essential as air and water

6. Make saffron as the “State color” you will be able to identify people “with” you easily

7. Do not give an off on any festival or event that has got no link with Maharashtirans

8. Debar people for cooking or eating any non-marathi food (cool idea..people will run away themselves). For this allot food inspectors who would go around the city tasting foods in households to ensure that it is authentic Marathi food

9. Ban all mobile phones and other electronic equipment that do not have Marathi keys on them

10. Ensure that all content on TV should be in Marathi or MUST have Marathi sub titles

As of now I can think only these. But trust me these 10 could trigger many other innovative ideas!

May I also suggest you to consider changing the groups’ names. Our brand management professors say that brand’s name must truly reflect what it stands for. I understand that the existing names have a “share of mind” among people – but with adequate publicity we might re-name them. Especially because people would agree more with the names if they reflect who the groups really are

Shiv Sena be rechristened as Vanar Sena (Lord Ram’s Vanar Sena that is… please don’t get me wrong!)

Let MNS be the same, but it should stand for Maharashtra No-Nirmaan Sena (To say that no nirmaan could happen until all non-maharastrians left! Obviously no!)

For that matter please collaborate with one another, you could make it a huge movement then.

Wanting to re-live

Well don’t get me wrong with the title.. I am not too old, wanting to be young again and re-living my youth..nor am I very sick and hoping to get back to healthy life . I am both young and healthy (thank you God J )

I was entering my guest house the other day from office... I was back early and just when I saw my watch, I realized this was typically the time that classes got over at MDI when it was a long day. Ha! What a Difference (or irony should I say), what seems early now was quite late earlier.. anyways some other time on that..

So I was reminded of college days and what did on a “typical” day after classes. Then, as usual I cribbed to myself about how life sucked after college... now I am here in this blessed place.. away from family and the “happening” cities of the country. I was missing college.

One thing is déjà vu, which is (literally put) the experience of thinking that a new situation had occurred before, the other is this. You imagine and attempt to re-live the past and re-feel what you felt then. But what happens is, one, you are not really in the situation anymore – not the place, not the people and not the time. And second, you don’t feel exactly in the same way. You feel something and then the next moment you are in the present moment – here and now.

So how do we really re-live a moment? Is it possible? I had once written something on “the sound of a feeling” (thanks to a friend at college who inspired me to contemplate about it – it was his “gtalk status”). What I concluded from my thought on that was that u can “listen” to a feeling..i linked it to memory and recognition of some similar scenarios, etc.

But let’s move ahead of it, and think, can we really re-live a moment? Let’s take example of repeating events in our lives – daily / mundane activities to periodic but infrequent events. Umm..to begin with – the journey to say, office everyday. You get up, get ready, have breakfast and then walk, drive, or travel by other means to office. Simple – everyday. Yet do you feel the same everyday? No. Either some office work has occupied your mind, or you are sleepy or lazy, or something in the newspaper is on your mind. Or you have someone with you today. Whatever be the reason - it is different. So I conclude – I do not relive any previous day during my travel from my place of stay to office.

Now, a repeating – but infrequent event, umm.. birthday may be? Common parts of a birthday – cake, phone calls, meeting people, party. Do we relive any previous birthday? Even though we keep saying – every year on my birthday I do this, or I go there, etc etc. But it feels different, every time. (of course with years passing by, the amount you sulk about the age factor is ever increasing)

Then why is it that we do it so many times.. I mean attempt to re-experience a feeling that we had in some past event? When someone passes away, people try to console their closed ones by saying, you know, think of the wonderful times you spent with the person. Or else if there’s been any other kind of a loss, or when you miss someone who’s away now, typically we try to “re-live” in the past. But does it really happen? What happens is an increased realization of the loss.

Photographs, videos, etc. All are visual memories - they capture moments and every time we look at them, we are reminded of the moment.

Reminded – well that’s what it is.

In an attempt to re-live we are in fact reminded of the past moment or event, and what we feel or live through is a complex mixture of the past experience, the current context and how we link the two. So we do feel and live something – but we don’t “re-live” any moment. Ever.

We can’t capture moments and preserve them. Memories and proofs of events in the past can exist, but the actual moment – once passed cannot be brought again. It was best placed at that point of time and space and nothing can re-create it.

Yet, in an attempt to (generally) be happy about some pleasant experience of the past, we try to re-live the history. (well I used the word accidently, and now what occurs to me is that phrase – history repeats itself). Moreover history seems too ancient, so let’s just stick to the word past as for now.

Funny isn’t - wanting to re-live, is after all fully a fallacy that we try to believe every day. Give it a though- you will remember that what you did while trying to relive you were actually just re-minded of the past! :D

Live the moment – (even if you don’t do it on purpose you are actually doing it), ‘cause you can’t re-live the past and you may not have anything to live in future!

Rememberings in a Drop

I sit by the window watching the rain,

Rain drops smoothly trickle down the glass

Travelling a journey...

I look closely..I see moments in them;

They look bright in the water..reflect enraptured moments...

The cool breeze sprays cold water.. the images bring warmth..

I see faces from the top..they appear unfamiliar

I get curious..i see them closely.. they smile to me..

I become acquainted.. I like them..

They come closer... I delightfully look at them... those twinkly faces and eyes..

I live those moments..

Some are of unending talks; other of bashes together..

Some posing like statues...others in some intriguing activity..

They freeze.. I keep gazing...losing track of time..

I blink eyes; and they start distancing..

They are moving fast..one drop cohering with the other..

I try hard to look at them..

Just to say...hey stop!

The drops are now a stream..smoothly coursing down the glass..

As the stream bids goodbye..the sun shines..

A rainbow egresses

I see them all through colours...bright and shiny

The rain stops...

I close my eyes...and smile...

I will miss them..because I will remember ..

Sound of a Feeling

The five senses of the human body enable it to recognize its surroundings. It develops a familiarization using them. It could be a sound, a scene, and so on. This capacity of sensing is something that we have right from birth. Over the period of the entire life time, we develop reactions to what we sense. These reactions may or may not change. And these reactions could be in the form of an external physical action or else, and internal thought, or in other cases a feeling.

It is over a period of time that a little child learns sounds. There’s a particular understanding of each word or audio that s/he hears. S/He learns words and meanings, and expression comes of them.

It is perhaps simple, at least, to a fairly good extent, to develop the understanding of words, sounds, visuals etc. In fact the sense organs often are reflexive. But there’s a different realization or sensing ability that can’t be defined in similar way.

I see, I hear, I smell, I taste and I touch. But what about what I Feel? Feelings are what give us another kind of sensitivity, or sensing capability. But this is very special. Its evolution and response, both, are complex. And, is also subjective to an individual.

Even so, our description of sensing abilities is generally confined to hearing or seeing or touching etc. So how would we be capable of sensing a feeling? Can we see it? Touch it? Or may be hear it? Or do we just feel a feeling?

We can certainly feel a feeling, but besides this, intuitively, I think, we can hear it too. If that be so, what would it sound like? What is the sound of a feeling? Something intrigued me about this feeling of sound, I mean the feeling of feeling the sound of a feeling.

I see a conglomerate of colours on a canvas, and I realize it is a painting, and I know it is music; I taste sugar and I know it is sweet. But how do I hear a feeling? What is my association with it that helps me hear it? When there is rain falling over trees, and wind moving the leaves; water drops fall from the tip of one leaf to another, and the fragile branches swirl in the wind; how do I take it? Is it just a sound? Perhaps not just that; it in fact defines a picture, a sound, and some association with someone or some instance, i.e. a memory. And there originates a feeling.

You hear a feeling, in your mind. But for hearing a feeling your mind should be capable of recognizing it. The difference between feeling a feeling and hearing a feeling is the ability of associating one’s past experience with the feeling. I know how it feels to miss home when I haven’t been there for a long time. But is would be an extreme example, because this could happen often. The mind may recognize the sounds of feelings that my not be felt as frequently, they would be like experiencing a déjà vu. Like looking at someone you have probably seen before, and you see again, it an almost similar situation, and immediately there comes a faint picture of such an experience you had earlier.

The difference between the sound of a feeling and any other sense is very distinct. First, you have the advantage of hearing the sound of the feeling privately. No one else can sense it the way you do. Second, you can’t use your ears for the sound of a feeling, the mind or the heart hears it. And third, it is easier to recognize a sound that you could hear from ears, but the sound of a feeling requires your memory, mind and heart. It is more complex. You re-live the situation in the memory everytime that you hear that feeling.

The feeling of being hugged by loved ones, the feeling of meeting an old friend, the feeling of helping a needy, the feeling of being betrayed by someone, the feeling of missing someone desperately; you feel more intensely when you hear them. The sound of these feelings hence, is, the syllable created by memory, recognized by the heart and internalized by the mind.

So can a feeling ever cause a sound? The answer to this, probably, is yes. The first time ever that you feel a feeling and then, if ever, you feel it again, there gets registered a syllable of that feeling in your brain. Over a period of time if that feeling is triggered over and over again, the memory can distinctly create the appropriate syllable as the mind understands it, and hence there would be a sound created of that feeling. The cause of the sound is the feeling, because the it was internalized after one experiences the feeling.

Could the experience or sense of a feeling be a sound? Absolutely, (provided you are not new to that feeling), the memory would instantly create the sound, and you would hear it!